Overwhelming

Sometimes I just look at my son and cry tears of joy. I just feel so thankful for his very existence. I never knew it was possible to love anything the way I love him and for him love is enough, its 11pm, I should be studying but instead I’m 8 Seasons into House on Netflix, and I hear the pitter patter of tiny feet open the door into my room

“Are you okay little man?”

“I Is okay, I just want mummy give me cuddle”

And he crawls onto the bed and wraps his arms around my neck, mothers my face in slobbery kisses and you know that for both of us this is just the best feeling in the world. In that moment I can provide all the physical and emotional support that he needs simply by being his mummy. It doesn’t matter that I’m a younger mum, that we rely on student finance and benefits to support us, that I have one final exam until I finish my second year and I’ve been distant, stressed and distracted towards him recently. In that blissful hour we spent watching Netflix and cuddling he knew he was absolutely loved and safe and thats just the purest feeling a human can experience. Sometimes it feels like I’m walking around with a part of my soul in the form of another human being, its disorientating, confusing and when he’s not there I can’t always shake the feeling that I’m missing something

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